23rd Oct2017

#NoBrokeMenAllowed

by admin

Dating as a young black girl is an extreme sport. This is mainly because men generally have very little to offer so your options are limited if you don’t want to date patriarchs, homophobes and all round problematic men. When you eventually pick a suitable partner, you have to compromise something, be it money, or height. I recently had to compromise and after that ordeal was over, I swore never to compromise again

I believe most women have a list of their ideal man, if it’s not written down, it is at least somewhere at the back of their heads.  My ideal man came was perfectly packaged, he was smart, conventionally attractive (but not the kind that comes with drama) but he didn’t have money. Now because he compensated for his lack of finances in other areas. Being from a middle class background I always told myself that I would never consider dating someone who is from a lower socio- economic background from me. This may sound a bit classist but my reasoning behind my views are, in my opinion, valid.

Firstly no matter how woke or how much of an ally your man is to feminism , there is always an element of patriarchy that is present and his masculinity will play a huge factor in the power dynamics of the relationship. My knight in shining armour was broke and a victim to toxic hyper-masculinity. Now because I had more money than him and he couldn’t provide for me the way I wanted him to, he always felt the need to show how powerful he was or how much I needed him.

Of course I wish I could name and shame him but I won’t. That experience validated for me why I never wanted to date a broke man in the first place and why I would never recommend anyone else to do it.

Broke Man

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