21st Aug2017

Who’s The Man?

by admin

Masculinity is a fragile concept. There seems to be an unshakeable expectation to be ‘a man’, which cannot in essence be explained; however it is mandatory that you stick to the rules. What rules exactly? In order to be a man, you need to have some of the following traits: disrespect, alcoholism, disregard for women, anger and temperament issues, emotional detachment and so on. This basically translates to #Trash however that is a conversation for another day.


Have you ever considered as a ‘man’ why you wouldn’t let your children, mother, girlfriend (platonic or otherwise) walk alone at night or meet up with strangers at night or feel uncomfortable at the thought of a stranger sliding in her DMs? Is it because, it has been taught to you that a man takes what he wants and if he cannot, he is a failure? Therefore, other human beings including those you love very dearly become public property and thus can be obtained by anyone who deems it fit to be their possessions.

Why can’t men cry? See, we have also been taught not to cry at any stupid or insignificant thing and as women it seems like if we do not shatter immediately at your disappointment then we have somehow challenged your whole being. Now she has become a man and you, not so much. If it is in your nature why not be emotional. This is what causes unnecessary aggression or as I like to call in “emotional constipation” which leads to many things such as alcoholism, disrespectful behaviour etc. Wait, I think I get it. Is all of this because of emotional constipation?

‘Manhood’ is so easy to challenge which is why you ‘educated brothers’ think every female in your class is a feminist. Which might be true depending on your module however, asking the simple question; why can’t I be given the opportunity to try, seems to cause way too much fear and last time we checked that was unmanly. Allow human beings to try. Gender is the result of the luck of the draw and the XX chromosome is all up in your DNA, but I digress.

Men's Fragrances

Men’s Fragrances

Patriarchy has given you everything and nothing at all. To advance outside the social sphere is a breeze that needs to be corrected but still enjoyable for anyone who is considered to be ‘a man’ which by virtue of other standards (known and unknown) doesn’t seem to rely on the XY chromosome. However, in the social sphere, you are #trash. You teach women to navigate around the trashy behaviour that other males might exhibit however you do not have these attributes. Are you still a man? A question posed to any male who does not drink in excess, disrespect women, take whatever he wants, treat all people as equal, has the audacity to exhibit emotion… Are you a man? How about the question of “are you human”?


21st Aug2017

Crisis of Masculinity?

by admin


I strongly believe that we as women are in no position to be telling men to stop abusing us. They should know this, in fact I do not think there is anything men do not know about how they should be treating women. It is those who are dealing with a crisis of masculinity who are finding it hard to refrain from abusing others; they feel the strong need to prove to others and perhaps even themselves that they are, as the social construct goes, “manly men”. It is those who are so comfortable in their patriarchal positions who feel that women who dare to challenge their authority should be reprimanded and the only way they know how to reprimand these women is by abusing them. In my thinking, societies need to deconstruct the current dominant ideologies of masculinity in order to prevent men from resorting to violence.  Although that is not the only solution, these abusive men should look within themselves and find their own solutions to stop being violent towards women.

21st Aug2017

Internalised Homophobia

by admin

internalised homophobia picture

Being ‘different’ in a hegemonic kind of society and navigating your way around that is hard. One has to deal with binaries which exclude and limit certain ways of identifying oneself. Internalised homophobia is occupying a dominant position in every space. It is mostly the influence of society, family, friends, church community and even the spaces which we live in. It is very active and hard to identify because it is innocuous. It exists within a person who is gay. “Man you cannot do this”, “ forget about that” , “faggot”, “homo” are just some of the comments , words uttered to and around a person who might be on the verge of coming out . These are some of the causes of the fear, dislikes or hatred against oneself caused by one’s homosexuality.

This internalised homophobia causes a lot of people to remain in the ‘closet’. Yes, ‘closet’ is the name ‘it’ is given. It is known as that imaginary space that someone who is homosexual creates for him-/herself in order to be different in a safe space. Away from all the hateful comments, teasing, bullying, anti-gay jokes and negative attitudes towards those who are not heterosexual. Speaking of this makes me remember how a lot of homosexual people always raise the issue that Christians are always shoving the Bible down their throats. This is one other reason why one would have internalised homophobia. For example, one grows up in a family of Christians, learning and reading about the Sodom and Gomorrah and how it was burnt because of homosexual practices amongst other reasons. Once that particular self ‘finds’ that they have feelings to the person of the same sex they suppress these feelings by justifying their reasons for doing so by reverting back to the Bible and what society says. People who have internalised homophobia make the lives of other homosexual people hard. They hide behind what society says and use that to reduce others as a way of making them share their pain. Internalised homophobia is a very sensitive topic thus a lot of people in the LGBTIAQ++  community do not like talking about it because it is serious and requires one to put themselves in that situation. It is a social stigma and can be experienced by any non-heterosexual, including bisexuals.  Furthermore it can lead to mental illness such as substance use or an eating disorder. It is believed through psychological research that lesbians have the least internalised homophobia followed by homosexual men, then bisexual women. Bisexual men showed the greatest amount of internalised homophobia.

There are many ways of identifying internalised homophobia and that is through accepting that you have self-hate which is influenced by the heterosexist society which we live in. And remember that this is a result of cultural programming that espouses negative views around homosexuality. The best way to overcome internalised homophobia is by recognising its existence. If you think you have this particular phobia seek counselling or speak to a trusted family member who you feel comfortable speaking to. This will allow you to take the first step of coming out and living your life.

Always remember that being a homosexual is genetic- is absolutely not an illness; you didn’t ask to be this way and you can’t control your sexuality any more than you can control the colour of your eyes.


14th Aug2017

Invisible Tears of the Woman

by admin

Eyes swollen from crying countless tears

The nameless pain from within tears the chambers

Of bruised and pierced heart

She cried bitterly till the wells and streams

Within her ran dry

Until what she can excrete was only mud

The mud of blood that stains your hands

Her face painted with blood

That her vision is blurred

And what she could see is the shade of death

A heartfelt solemn prayer is what she breathed

At her last breath

Your cruelty mongers her soul

When she tries hardly to grasp

Her life with her fingertips

But it slips through her fingers

Like the cloud passing through the yellow fingers of the sun

And disappears at the glimpse of an eye

Now that she is no more

She was not merely flesh and bones

But she was made for something more

That you terminated before it even began

And what is left is just bunch of flesh and bones

You show no remorse by dissecting her into pieces

Taking what you consider to be valuable organs

Purchasing them to evil companies

Like stolen goods without conscience

Just to create wealth

You burn the rest

Like a dragon that breathes fire

Her remnants is just ashes

But her mom never bore firewood

Never carried a stick during gestation

She conceived a child, a woman,

But you want her to burry ashes

What happened to your heart?

That it corroded like steal exposed to moist

I know for a fact that regret hits where it hurts the most

Repent and sin no more

Because you cannot undo the done

Women's Tears

07th Aug2017

What Makes It Right for You to Think It is Right?

by admin


Simply to hear and to be sure to be loud enough for them not to resist your roaring sound. One thing that cannot be debated is that we all have our own ideas around life, love, happiness, and our beliefs regarding what should and should not be. For a moment too long you find yourself in a deep interaction with a ‘stranger’; you share a lot in common, or at least you think you do. There is also that vibe that you thought you had forgotten about since your mind has made most of your past emotions and connections you shared disappear. You then begin to feel that the air has become so thin that it cannot even be shared between two people.


Your instinct, or your gut feel if you prefer to call it that, tells you that it’s okay and that it’s fine to open up and be free. It’s very easy to find yourself liking a person but yet so , it can be very easy to also dislike and doubt the actions they present to you. So now tell me; what makes you think I want more from you?  That you can make your move quicker. If it all needs to be clear then let it be seen and shown across all of the spectrums. Or simply to hear and to be sure to be loud enough for them not to resist your roaring sound. One thing that cannot be debated is that we all have our own ideas around life, love, happiness, and our beliefs regarding what should and should not be. For a moment too long you find yourself in a deep interaction with a ‘stranger’; you share a lot in common, or at least you think you do. There is also that vibe that you thought you had forgotten about since your mind has made most of your past emotions and connections you shared disappear. You then begin to feel that the air has become so thin that it cannot even be shared between two people.Your instinct, or your gut feel if you prefer to call it that, tells you that it’s okay and that it’s fine to open up and be free. It’s very easy to find yourself liking a person but yet so, it can be very easy to also dislike and doubt the actions they present to you. So now tell me…

31st Jul2017

Don’t Come to Johannesburg

by admin

Johannesburg Skyline

You will hear stories of our lost sisters,
The lecherous captors
Snatched off of narrow pavements

You will be enticed by stories of illusion,
Disappearing acts and elusive names turned to
The silent spectres sweeping the city streets,
An insidious ghost lurking in the shadows.

It’s the city of silence,
Beneath the bedlam walls are filled with wails
Inconsolable mothers,
Abandoned children
Stolen women…

Here, women aren’t human
Taming demons is our nature.
We learn to hide before our bones grind to dust.
Your body a prison, your clothes, shackles
Your home holds you captive in fear.

You will be coerced into a macabre melody
while they circle to your song,
Join the dance, you will join the dance.
We will sing your song;
Shut your ears, shut your mouth, shut your eyes as well.
Sing to your silence

15th May2017

Lions in the Streets of Africa

by admin

Some things just never get old. For example, the look you get when you travel abroad, proudly announcing that you are indeed from Africa; as in THE Africa. You know that dark and dusty place where you go on safari to observe wild animals and meet tall, thin, starving people? Yes, that’s where I live!

MAGALIESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - JUNE 07:  Children play football in front of the setting sun on June 7, 2010 in Magaliesburg, South Africa.  (Photo by Mike Hewitt - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

First the eyes get wider, then the chin pokes forward in amazement and finally you get the scan: top to bottom and back up again; just to make sure that you’re not some kind of fictional creature.

Once I even went so far as to elaborate on our local elephant transportation system (Ele Vaya) and my two pet lions that I keep in the bushveld south of my clay hut.


Despite my little jokes about western ignorance, given some recent occurrences, I have to wonder if the Western idea of deepest, darkest Africa is perhaps more accurate than we would like to believe. Apparently nowadays it is normal to have three pet lions in your backyard. Did I perhaps miss the memo?

And on top of that, we now have a new tourist attraction. Get your cameras ready folks; we have lions walking the streets. I have to wonder what Mother Africa has up her sleeve for next week’s headlines.

Lions in road

08th May2017


by admin

One Community One Love

Being ignorant can leave you confused once you wake up and realise what is going on around you. Ignorance can make you resist change and you end up being aggressive. What makes me say these words is because I feel that a lot of people in the heterosexual community are being ignorant about the LBTIAQ+ community. This leads to gay bashing, so called ‘corrective rape’ and all of the discriminative actions that is against the members of the homosexual community.

The words gay and lesbian have both been misused and misinterpreted. Whenever a ‘straight’ person tries to identify a homosexual person, the words come up and I sometimes wonder if the person using the words understands what they mean, what kind of power is linked to them, and how the wrong use of the words can lead to a lot of bad consequences. Looking at the title of this article one would ask ‘ him’ or ‘herself’ what each letter stand for and why there is an addition sign at the end but what is important is what each letter means . My aim is not to try and explain what a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersexual, Asexual, Queer and other sexual orientations and gender are but to give you an overview of what one can expect when encountering a member who identifies as such. My hope is that once I have given you this overview you will go out and do your own research because my overview is not enough for one to depend on.

A Lesbian is a woman who is sexually attracted to women. Please note that not all Lesbian people dress, walk or talk like boys. There are different people who identify as Lesbian but do not embody a masculine persona in public.  A Gay person is a man who is sexually attracted to other men. Not all Gay people are loud and flamboyant. Not all Gay people speak, dress or walk like girls. There are different people who identify as Gay but do not embody a girly appearance. A Bisexual person is someone who is sexually attracted to both men and women. People who identify as Bisexual are not greedy; they are just attracted to both sexes. They do not demonstrate any stereotypes whatsoever and are just like any ‘straight’ person in appearance. A Transgender person is a person whose gender identity, expression or behaviour is different from those typically associated with their assigned sex at birth. I know this sounds confusing but do not panic, that is how it is. Transgender people can wear anyway they decide to and date any gender they desire. In appearance they can look confusing but as I said do not panic just act normal, they are also HUMAN! The following I am just going to try and explain what they mean because there is much that goes along with them and I would not want to say things which might mislead some people. An Intersexual person is a person who is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that does not fit with the typical female or male definitions. An Asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. A Queer person is a person who wishes to not categorise their sex, sexuality or gender.

I hope, after reading this article, some people develop a sense of understanding of the different people who live in our communities. I hope my words did not offend anyone or give a wrong notion of any group of members in the LGBTIAQ+ community. I was simply trying to explain to the ‘straight’ community and those that are ignorant about what is going on within their different communities. For more information I suggest that you should do your own research by looking up on the internet or approaching people of the community.



30th Apr2017


by admin

As a South African woman,
I know my place
Last in opinion,
But first appetizer,
on the course that feeds men’s sordid desires
You were not designed to be my ally,
none of us were,
for we all know that the wheels that move our
‘great country’
drive the patriarchy
Fragile creatures,
we are taught early to restrain the parasites,
Clamorous men
We are taught early to restrain ourselves,
For our small, candid bodies grow into
for preying eyes and eager fingertips
The history of our country is one filled with
where our fathers and theirs
fought for the right to be within one’s skin
Today we fight a different war.
A war for the right to be within our bodies as
A war to be something other than passive
receivers of aggressive sexual attention.
The war against rape –
A gutless coward,
hiding itself in the makeup of our country’s
We allow young men to continuously make
punching bags of women;
watching the weight of their insides fall
greedily from inside of them
feeding the soils that grow your ignorance
This is no war fought using ammunition,
but fought using power
And half our soldiers will have to fight
for the right to keep their power in a single
some before they even know they have
anything to fight for
The nail in the coffin is that us
the non-militants contribute to this endless
We sit in our comfortable glass houses
Throwing stones of judgement and blame

The words slut, whore, tramp, spewing in the
air like hand grenades in combat
We hide in our fortresses until judgement day
But what redemption do we seek to receive
When our general – the president of our
country is an acquitted rapist
The plague covers our land in its venomous
taking our soldiers in its many forms
Staining virginal rights, claiming to cleanse our
AIDS ridden men.
Gripping onto the innocence of our infants –
men, who are meant to protect them,
using them for sexual gratification
This country is a ticking time bomb,
Ticking to the day I feel safe walking on the
Ticking to the day I don’t feel the need to be as
inconspicuous as possible in front of a group
of men
Ticking to the day I am proud to be a woman,
comfortable in my skin
So as we turn down the lights,
And bolt up the doors
We know that we are waiting for this war
A war that no one can prepare us for…

30th Apr2017

Happiness is a Four Letter Word

by admin

Happiness is a Four Letter

Happiness really is a four letter word as it is defined by the love that defines the divinity of human kind. In this article I am particularly talking about a friend, not just any friend but a friend that enlightened my soul. I know at this stage of my life, friends shouldn’t be the main component of one’s life as, once you arrive at Wits, you merely build your portfolio, focus on who you are, and forget about friends as they take you nowhere in life- so they say.

I would love to dedicate this electronic letter to my beloved friend. It may not be smooth like rhyme of a poem but please bear with me as I tell my friend that:

“Friend, you are the most high friend and when I say ‘high’ I am not talking about the godly high like nah fam, I am talking about your craziness which is amazing like Vodacom next level. You are too funny for my soul and I enjoy being around you, out of all the things that I love about you, I love the fact that you are flexible and you are able to give your heart up for rejection and always have a positive mind and those are the people that I love to keep in my life because they not scared of anything therefor you are fearless beyond fear, I mean you have the guts to be different in a society where everyone tends to fit in. you know I love unique people, people who stands out of the crowd and have a different persona and that why my friend I love you and I am going to fight for you because I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. Every time I count my blessing I count you twice, I be like thank you fathergoud for something so obvious even though sometimes I know you’ll be on your moods for days but I understand because I also undergo a cycle that makes me be in a devastation of a situation too.  I don’t care whether you take me as your friend or not which is always annoying you to the point that you end up saying ‘Uyadika’ (isn’t it odd how people kill flies just because they annoying? If people killed people for being annoying I know I would have been dead by now) but I just want you to know that in my life you will always be my friend and I hope one day if you decide to come back, please do because the door will always be open just because you have been a good friend to me and everyone around you.”


For those of you who are wondering who is this friend, I will tell you who it is. It is quite obvious who I’m talking about as his name is Obvious Nomaele. He isn’t my boyfriend (lover) but I love his absurdness, his smile, his persona, his kindness and the time when we used to laugh together, I guess I fell in love with our friendship. I just want to say that I love you. My mum always said that I must fight for what I think is right, what I believe in and what I want. It helps in life not to lose people or things that have been important but couldn’t see because once that thing is gone you can never appreciate it again. In life it is not about how many friends you have, it about how many true friends are willing to stand by your side during difficult situations. That is why it is said that you must choose your friends wisely; not by status, or fame or their beauty (their beauty won’t make you more beautiful sweetie) but by love as it is said that happiness is a four letter word.

article rewriting service writing a good scholarship essay writing and editing help me write my paper essay planning